Thursday, September 24, 2009

Stir It Up

So, at work, as always, but today is a day unlike all the others. Why you ask? Well, because the Minuscule Tool and the Giant Baby Tuna are no longer here!! Unfortunately, not forever, just until Monday. Who the fuck is that you ask? Well, those are my bosses. No names allowed unless they somehow stumble along my blog, in which case i will probably get fired anyway because there are only two of them and they will know exactly who i'm talking about. A risk i should be taking? I don't care, it's too good to pass up. I don't know how Giant Baby Tuna (GBT) for short got his name really, just during one of my bizarre conversations with Paige (Zeeswagga - ch ch ch check it out) about how weird people are, especially him, but i DO know how the Minuscule Tool got his name...because he's far too short with an ego far too big. And he's just a tool. Like really, you think of a bro, a tool, a douche, he is the epitome of all of them, with a faux hawk and a huge truck to boot. But hallelujah the day has come where they have both left the office for two days of normal workday bliss! And by bliss i mean i am free to blog in peace and text while i work without getting written up, because God forbid i look at my phone in between emails and phone calls. I am pretty sure, if i managed to text all my way through high school, i can do just fine at work as well. (oh p.s. if you want a website DON'T call us, you'll just add to my workload & you'll just be mad at how long it takes with Business Promotion). Okay so in all honesty, i do like my job, i need the money, the girls i work with are cool, albeit there are only 3 other girls that work here, but they're cool, and the designers aren't too bad either, graphic designers are a different breed of men (interjection!: I say men because all the designers i work with are men, i understand there are some fantastic female graphic designers, so calm yourself, i know it goes both ways) i feel they're a lot funnier, weirder but a shitload funnier than most, i just cannot stand the owners! I mean, yes owning your own company (uhm reality check you've only had it for almost a year) does give you the authority to micromanage and not do a thing all day, but have you ever realized what it does for the morale of your employees? Nothing, it just pisses them off. Why the fuck should i keep typing and calling away to update these bitches of their website status while you walk around the office and bother me with stupid comments and every time i cough tell me i should "make some lifestyle changes". NO, no i shouldn't, and it would take a person i respect far more than YOU Minuscule Tool, to make me change anyway, so save your breath and ride your bike to your frat party to flirt with girls and forget you have a wife.
Wife? Husband? Marriage is weird. I just can't see myself being tied to one person for the rest of my life until one day one of us decides they change their mind and my life gets turned upside down by a messy divorce. Now you're probably thinking, "wow i bet her parents got divorced and she's scared of the same thing." No, stupid idiot, they are not divorced, they are still married and very much in love, there are just far too many creeps in this world for me to keep the faith in regards to true love. I know it sounds pessimistic, but i like to view myself as more of a realist instead. Just calling 'em as i see 'em ya know? At least in my 19 years of young love experience and perverted teenage boys, i don't see much monogamy in my future. Wow, i sound so bitter for being so young don't I? I mean, i really would love nothing more for the perfect adorable punk bad ass music loving snowboarding awesome dressing hilarious boy of my dreams to just leap into my life and prove me wrong, but boys these days are making me feel bad for having such high standards. Hmm, how many things are wrong with that sentence? I can count a few, which has completely diverted me from my original topic (which i'll post about later, it's too good to divulge just yet) to that of, why do people suck so bad? I'm not some man hating bitch i swear to you, i actually have more guy friends than girl friends when i think of it, but really, people seem to suck a lot more lately when i start to pay attention to things i hear. Albeit i AM an avid reader of the website fmylife.com, i'm sure some of them are fake yaddayadayada, but really there are some pretty ridiculous situations on there. I feel grateful for the fact that i can't even begin to wrap my head around some of the shitty things people do, which in my mind really just verifies the fact that i am just a good person, easy as that! Example:

Today, my fitness trainer husband told me that if I could not make the commitment to stay thin, he could not make the commitment to stay with me. FML


Okay, WHAT?!?! Are you kidding me? First off i don't really have any sympathy for this person because, well i don't have sympathy for people very often (i feel empathy serves everyone better in the long run, your problems won't go away just because i agree with how bad they suck i promise), but come on lady, i'm sure there were some signs along the way that you were marrying a shallow materialistic prick, but wow, who in the world thinks they call the shots THAT much? Control freaks drive me crazy, i understand the OCD's of this world, hell i could probably be thrown into that category myself if it really comes down to it, but who do you think you are to tell everyone in your life what they can and can't do? We're given free will so we don't have to listen to ass holes like you, regardless of the consequences good or bad. I mean these people go around their whole lives, bossing their parents when they're little tykes, their friends in high school (you know the mean girls of this world), their partner in relationships, the poor fools, and finally their little monsters of their own. I live for the moments when people like this finally "get what's coming to them" whatever that may be, and kudos to those who throw caution to the wind and stand up to people like this, even if you do end up jobless or divorced. It's probably better for you in the long run anyways! So there's an upside! (see i really am positive!) Funny, how strangely enough this tangent has brought me back round trip to the Minuscule Tool...bastard. Well, for now i'm done, my eyes are starting to blur from staring at the computer screen without averting my eyes for too long, so here's some hella gnarly vidz 4 ur viewing pleasure LOLZ! But really they're good:



Okay and this little gem, which won't let me embed, but take a peek, it's the band my blog's named after, real swell band, and nothing better than this song as a sing-along in the car on the way up to a sunny day of fresh powder up the canyon, aaaah winter, how i miss you:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OwwbXHNGsjU

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